Guilt At St Joseph's Academy (The Fallen Book 3) Read online

  Guilt At St. Joseph’s Academy

  The Fallen 3

  MV Ellis

  Guilt At St. Joseph’s Academy

  Published by The Other Shoe Productions

  Digital Edition

  Guilt At St. Joseph’s Academy

  © 2021 By MV Ellis

  First published September 2021

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  All rights reserved. ©

  This book is for your personal enjoyment only. This book may not be re-sold, or given away.

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  No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any written, electronic, recorded, or photocopied format without the express permission from the author as allowed under the terms and conditions with which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law.

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  Any unauthorized distribution, circulation or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the author’s rights, and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly.

  Thank you for respecting my work.

  Disclaimer

  Guilt At St. Joseph’s Academy is a work of fiction. All names, characters, events and places found therein are either from the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. Any similarity to persons alive or dead, actual events, locations, or organizations is entirely coincidental and not intended by the author.

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  The author acknowledges all song titles, song lyrics, film titles, film characters, trademarked statuses and brands mentioned in this book are the property of their respective owners. MV Ellis is in no way affiliated with any of the brands, songs, musicians, artists, or other entities mentioned in this book.

  We each begin in innocence.

  We all become guilty.

  ~Leonard F. Peltier

  For everyone who is burdened by guilt

  Guilt At St. Joseph’s Academy Playlist

  Find all my playlists on Spotify, search MV Ellis

  Find this playlist on Spotify, search Guilt At St. Joseph’s Academy

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  Alina Baraz - If You Let Me

  Ali Gatie - Welcome Back (feat. Alessia Cara)

  Alphalove - Don't Wanna Stop (feat. Conor Maynard) - Acoustic

  Tank - Can't Let It Show

  Nicki Minaj - Save Me

  Carl Storm - I Fall Apart

  Josh Levi - IF THE WORLD

  ILLENIUM - Hearts on Fire

  Sara Diamond - Glass of Whisky

  WATTS - Feels (feat. Khalid)

  cøzybøy - my fault

  The Kite String Tangle - KILLING TIME (feat. Eliott) - Acoustic

  Olivia Lunny - Bedsheets

  Emmanuel Franco - Feel Like Home

  Portair - Lying to Myself

  Kina - Make This Over

  Yoste - Honest

  CLAY - feelings

  Sarah Proctor - The Breaks

  Sam Fischer - This City

  Cassidi - What's My Name

  Alessia Cara - Best Days

  Y.V.E. 48 - Let You Know

  Alexander Nate - Save This Dance For Me

  Ron Pope - A Drop In The Ocean

  BANNERS - Start A Riot

  MAX - Lights Down Low

  Taska Black - Found Myself

  * * *

  Find this playlist on Spotify, search Guilt At St. Joseph’s Academy playlist

  Join Me

  GUILT AT ST. JOSEPH’S ACADEMY

  MV ELLIS

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  Prologue

  Zeph

  I’ve been in a haze of booze, blunts, and sex for most of the party, but suddenly my mind is clear and is overtaken by one thought: Aster. I need to find her, stat.

  I need to tell her I’m sorry.

  I stumble down the stairs, barely able to make out what’s going on around me, through the drink and drug haze, and the heaving sea of writhing bodies. I nearly lose my footing several times, since I can’t quite focus well enough to see the stairs beneath my feet.

  I make it down in one piece, then stumble from room to room looking for my kid sister. Sometimes I call her name, or at least, I try to, but the sounds don’t always make it past my lips.

  I keep going, peering blankly into the sea of faces that all seem to converge into one indistinct mass. I may not be able to see them well, but I can make out enough to know that none of them are Aster.

  My sister is nowhere to be seen, but I’m not about to give up trying. I push on, opening every door I can find—bedrooms, closets, the laundry. Sometimes I’m met with the outraged screams of the half-naked bodies writhing against each other in the semi-darkness, just like I was two minutes earlier. I don’t give a fuck who they are or what they say, it’s not going to stop me from searching.

  I don’t care if I have to tear the place apart with my bare hands, I won’t give up on Aster this time. Not again. But as I wander the crowded spaces searching, it’s starting to feel like looking for a precious golden needle in a sea of heaving, sweaty bodies.

  I don’t know what draws me to the pool, but suddenly through the smoke dappled air, I see clearly that it’s where I need to be.

  I shove my way through the hedonistic mass, not caring who I trample and jostle to get through. I let their shouts and complaints wash over me. Wild horses couldn’t keep me from getting to her. Hell, not even a bullet could. I’d use every ounce of strength I had left to reach her, no matter what.

  I fight my way through to the backyard, and the pool comes into focus, confirming all my fears.

  “Aster! Aster! What the fuck?”

  I tear across the deck and sprint toward her, stopping only briefly to kick off my shoes.

  “Aster! Can you hear me? Aster!”

  She’s face down in the pool, and nothing is moving. Not her, nor the sparkling water surrounding her—meaning she hasn’t moved for some time.

  “Help! Somebody help us! We need help over here!” I yell the words as I dive into the pool. In a normal situation, the cool, glittering water would be refreshing after the suffocating heat of the party. Right now, it’s not even a consideration. The only thing that matters as I plow to the deep end is making sure that my sister is okay.

  When I reach her, I tread water while I turn her over so that her face is facing the sky.

  “Aster! It’s me. Aster!”

  I’m filled with panic as her face swims into view. Her eyes are half-closed, revealing only the whites. Her skin is tinged a lifeless gray, and her lips are blue.

  “Aster! C’mon!” I know she’s not going to suddenly wake up, but I can’t help coaxing her anyway. I hook one arm under her neck and use the other arm to swim to the ladder.

  “Help! Someone help!”

  I’m already yelling by the time I realize that Tyce is sprinting across the deck toward us. He reaches the edge of the pool at the same time I do, and immediately reaches down to help pull us out. It’s a struggle, with my wet clothes, and Aster floppy and heavy—but we manage.

  As soon as she’s on the ground, I lean over her and put my ear to her mouth.

  “She’s not breathing!” I yell wildly, frantic with worry.

  “Shit!” Tyce’s eyes are wild, too. “I know CPR, move over, let me—”

  “No!” I boom the word, not in
anger, but in panic. “Tell me what I need to do, and I’ll do it.”

  Tyce looks confused but doesn’t argue with me. Instead, he quickly talks me through the process, then stands aside to call 911.

  I carry on with CPR as a crowd gathers around us while we wait for the ambulance. I want to tell them to fuck off, to let us have our private moment, that this is none of their business. I want to scream and yell, but I don’t. I focus on doing what I need to do to keep my little sister alive.

  “Aster! Aster! Don’t go! Please, don’t go! I got you. Don’t slip away from me… Please… No… I love you.”

  The longer the situation draws out, the more hopeless I feel, but there’s no way I’m giving up on her.

  When the paramedics finally arrive, they hit me with a barrage of questions—what Aster has ingested, how she ended up in the pool, how long she’s been unconscious for, how long I’ve been giving her CPR—most of which I don’t know the answers to.

  As the paramedics move around me in a flurry of frenetic activity and medical terminology, I don’t want to let go. In the end, Tyce is the one to pull me away.

  “Come on. Let them do their thing. They know what they’re doing way more than we do. Let them help her. They’re her best chance right now.

  He drags me by the armpits, and as much as I desperately want to rail against him and punch him, I know that he’s right. Instead of taking my anger and frustration out on him, I turn to the crowd of gawking onlookers, instead.

  “What the fuck are you staring at? Go away!” I roar so loudly that the sound tears at the back of my throat, leaving the metallic taste of blood in my mouth. People scatter, and I don’t blame them—I’m ready to tear someone apart with my bare hands.

  As the EMTs strap Aster’s lifeless body onto a gurney and fit her with a breathing bag, ready to leave, Tyce turns to me.”

  “Keys.” He snaps his fingers.

  “What? No, I’ll dri—”

  “Give me your motherfucking keys. After everything you’ve swallowed, smoked, snorted, and slammed tonight, there’s no fucking way I’m letting you drive.”

  “I’m fine.” The fact is, I might have been more lit than a Christmas tree before this happened, but now I’m sober as a fucking judge.

  “I’m not letting you drive. End of story. The last thing I need is both of you in the hospital. Stop wasting time, and give me the damned keys.”

  “Aster! Stay, please. Stay with me. Don’t leave me. I’m sorry. I love you.” I yell the words as I lurch toward the gurney as they wheel it past, but Tyce pulls me back again.

  “Come on! I heard them say they’re taking her to Central. If we hurry, we can get there at the same time.”

  As Tyce drives us through the city streets, I dare to voice the words that have been burning a hole in my brain since I saw Aster floating in the pool.

  “She’s gone, and I never told her I love her.”

  Chapter 1

  Tyce

  “He’s at the lookout. Let’s go!”

  We’re running to my car in the school lot. When we get there, I throw my keys to Thunder.

  “You drive. I’ll navigate if he goes on the move.” I say the words, but I don’t truly believe he’ll move. Not until we find him, anyway.

  “Do I even want to know why you can track and trace your best friend?” Thunder eyes me skeptically as he throws my car through the city streets.

  “I’m not tracking and tracing him. He’s not a wild animal, and I’m not a hunter.” Although he does act that way sometimes, and I do play the role of lion-tamer. “It’s Locate My Device, not some kind of spyware.”

  “Yeah, but that’s the thing. It’s not your device, is it? It’s Zeph’s phone.”

  I’m not entirely sure, but I think I detect a hint of irritation in his voice.

  “Okay, but you can add friends and family. He’s my friend, but he’s also family, so…” I shrug. Thunder, of all people, should be able to fill in the blanks. “And don’t forget that the other person has to agree to this. I’m not stalking him. Not by stealth, anyway. He knows about it and is okay with it. And honestly, I’ve never used it. It’s just for emergencies like this one.”

  I’m not even sure why I’m justifying this to Thunder. Especially not right now. If I’m not mistaken, I detect a little jealousy in his inquiries, which is so weird. I guess we need to talk about ‘us’—again—but now’s not close to being a good time.

  “Anyway, is that the most important thing for us to be thinking about right now, or is finding Zeph our priority?”

  “I’m not gonna answer that, since you know that I know that this is important. But part of me is wondering if this isn’t just like yesterday, when he went off-grid. You don’t think maybe he just wants some breathing space for a little while? It’s been a hectic few days.”

  “Hmm… under normal circumstances, I would agree with you that it could be a possibility, but on this occasion, I don’t think that’s what’s happening, for a couple of reasons. First, it’s so out of character for him to unplug like that once, let alone two days in a row. But more importantly, when he did it yesterday, Blake wasn’t missing. Now that she is—or at least might be—I just can’t see him going incommunicado. Not voluntarily, anyway. Third, unlike yesterday, he hasn’t switched off.”

  I look at my phone. A green dot flashes on the screen, surrounded by thin green circles radiating outward.

  “Yesterday, I was getting nothing when I tried this. If the phone is off or dead, it can’t be traced. Same if you’re in a deep tunnel or up a very high mountain. So the fact that we can see this now means that his phone is on, but he’s not answering. I think if he could, he would. At least to tell us to go fuck ourselves until further notice, because he’s the one calling the shots, not us. You know?”

  He glances over at the screen. “I mean, yeah, I guess. It’s possible, but it’s just as possible that this is a case of Zeph being Zeph. And one thing we all know about Mr. Cross is that he likes to keep the world guessing, just like he did yesterday by being AWOL in the first place. And just because he went out of his mind at me for not being contactable, and the shit hit the fan when he was incommunicado, doesn’t mean he’s not doing it again, just to make a point. You of all people know that he takes being an asshole to a whole new level in new ways every day.”

  “Also true. But something in my gut is telling me that this is different somehow.”

  “Okay, but isn’t it supposed to tell you where the person is?” He nods toward the phone in my lap. “Right now, there’s nothing on the screen, except the dot.”

  “Yeah, it’s not ideal, but it struggles if you’re out of range, for whatever reason. Or in areas where reception can be patchy, it can be hard. That’s what makes me think he’s at the lookout, because the reception up there is practically nonexistent. Plus, he goes up there to clear his head sometimes.”

  “Right. But if this isn’t even super unusual behavior for him, why worry now? What if we get there, and he laughs in our faces for being pussies?”

  “Then we put our hands up and admit to being big ole’ manginas who give a fuck about our friends. He’ll mock us about it until he gets bored or forgets, and we’ll get the hell on with our lives until he finds something else to berate us about. Rinse. Repeat. The bigger question is: what if I’m right, and he needs our help, but we don’t go because we don’t want to look like pussies?”

  “I mean, we’re on the road already, so that’s not going to happen. I’m just saying.”

  “Yeah, and I’m just saying that I would do the same if it were you. And I’d like to think you’d do it for me, too.”

  He briefly takes his eyes off the road again to look my way. “I hope you’re not seriously suggesting that there’s a chance I wouldn’t? You know me better than that, Ty. You know what you mean to me, surely? You have to know I’d tear the fucking city apart with my bare hands if I had to. The entire country, even, if I needed to. Until I bled. O
r someone else did.”

  “Yeah, I know.” We descend into silence, both lost in our thoughts.

  “I just have a bad feeling, you know? I don’t know why.” My voice cuts through the silence sometime later.

  “It’s intuition. And honestly, I’m not knocking it. We’re given those feelings in our gut for a reason—it’s a survival thing, a leftover from when we had to worry about being hunted to death, or whatever. And, man, I’m the first person to say that I don’t ignore that shit. It’s saved my life countless times, especially on the canvas.” Thunder’s voice takes on a faraway tone for a moment, as though he’s recalling his near-death experiences.

  He reaches over and squeezes my knee. “Do you think you could cool it with the jiggling a little? You’re making me nervous.”

  I didn’t even realize I was doing it.

  “Sorry, I’m just….” I let the words hang, knowing he can fill in the rest.

  “Yeah, it’s cool. I get it,” Thunder reassures me, squeezing again before withdrawing his hand.

  Adrenalin is still gunning through my veins, but I do my best to contain it. Thunder is right—there’s no point in raising my blood pressure before I know what the situation with Zeph is. I lean back against the seat and try to breathe through the stress, but it doesn’t help much.

  Thunder takes a sharp turn at a curve in the road, hardly bothering to slow the car at all. I grip the handle of the passenger door to stop from smashing my head against the glass.