Raine - An Office Romance (Gods Of The Fifth Floor Book 2) Read online

  “Make yourself decent, I need to get this,” I threw over my shoulder as I moved toward the door.

  I quickly disposed of the condom, then continued to make my way across the room, tucking my junk back in my pants as I went.

  “What?” I wrenched the door open as though it was the cause of all my problems.

  “Mr. Davies?” Her voice was hesitant.

  “No.”

  “Oh. Um... the receptionist directed me here, saying it was Mr. Davies’ office. Maybe I made a wrong turn. You’re not him?”

  “No. Mr. Davies is my father. I’m Raine.”

  “I’m sorry I... Oh. Raine Davies?”

  “Who’s asking?”

  “Me. People Matters Recruitment sent me. I’m a temp.PA.”

  “Nope.” I began closing the door.

  “The agency sent me for the temp role. Has there been some kind of mistake?”

  I stopped closing the door, rolling my eyes and sighing big.

  “I’ll say there’s been a fucking mistake. You have to go.”

  “I’m sorry, I don’t understand. Is there no job?”

  “There is, but not for you.”

  “Excuse me?” She folded her arms and looked at me like she was moments away from slapping me. “I’m sorry, but I was sent here for a role, which was confirmed on Friday at 4 p.m. It’s now Monday at 8 a.m. What has changed in that time?”

  “Oh, nothing’s changed at all. There was never a job here for someone like you.”

  “Someone like me? Someone. Like. Me. Are you saying you’re turning me away from a job because I’m—”

  “A hot chick. Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying. No female PAs. Especially hot ones. Dudes only.”

  “I can’t... um... this is. Wow. I have the confirmation email from Carla right here.” She started rummaging in her purse, presumably for her phone.

  “Who the fuck is Carla?”

  “Carla Leal. She’s an account manager at Personnel Matters.”

  “Never heard of her. I always deal with Arianne. Well, that’s not true. James, my old PA, always dealt with her. But that’s the only name I’ve ever heard.”

  “Arianne is the owner, and Carla works for her. Arianne is on maternity leave, so Carla is covering her clients. She booked me.”

  “What is this, fucking story time? I don’t give a damn about all that. I will tell you one thing, though, this Carla person has fucked up big time. Arianne knows never to send me chicks. I booked a guy called Ned. Nick. Nigel. Something like that.”

  “Noa?”

  “Yeah, that’s right. Noah... something.”

  “Noa Hale. That’s me.”

  “Your name is Noah?”

  “Correct.”

  “So, you have a dude’s name?”

  “Well, it’s my name, so technically not a dude’s name.”

  “Semantics. I’m sure you know what I mean. Normally Noah is a name given to

  boys.”

  “N-O-A-H, for sure, but that’s not how my name is spelled. It’s N-O-A.”

  “More semantics. If a chick is called Kevin, but it has an extra e at the end, does that make it any less a guy’s name?”

  “I mean, I’d say that the name belongs to whoever is called that. But in any case, mine isn’t a feminization of Noah. It’s genuinely completely separate. Its origins are Hawaiian, as are mine. It’s derived from the word for freedom. But it’s also not an uncommon Hebrew name, or Japanese, either, for that matter. In Japanese it means my love. I think that’s so cute.”

  “So much talking. But when it boils down to it, you can’t tell me that you don’t mostly get mistaken for a dude, purely from seeing your name on paper.

  “Oh no, I absolutely do, but I’m not responsible for other people’s understanding—or lack thereof. I guess you must find the same thing.”

  “Excuse me?” What the fuck was she talking about?

  “Well Raine. Surely lots of people must mistake you for a female until they meet you.” What?

  “No, I can’t say they do, and while I’d love to stay and chat about the etymology of names all day long—and by love, I mean, I can’t think of anything worse—I actually have shit to do and an agency to run, so...” She just stood there staring at me, not filling in the blanks like any normal, sane person would.

  “You have to go.” I figured she’d have stood there staring the whole day, if I’d let her.

  “So, you’re discriminating against me because I’m female?”

  “If you want to call it that, I guess you can. I only have male PAs. That’s just the way it is. It works better for everyone. Trust me.” She looked at me as though I was about as trustworthy as a venomous snake.

  I noticed that she still had her arms folded. If we’d been in a cartoon, there would have been heat rising from her head, and flames coming from her nose. She was mad, and didn’t even try to hide it. Not that I could blame her. I wouldn’t either, in the same situation.

  “Sorry you wasted your time—I’ll make sure you get paid for the day, but you need to leave. And not that it’s any of my concern, but in the future, when you start a new job, it would probably be better not to turn up at the crack of dawn. There’s keen, and then there’s downright crazy. Seeming like a stalker isn’t a good look.”

  “It’s 8 a.m. That’s what time the agency told me to be here.”

  “Okay well, anyway. This isn’t happening, so it really doesn’t matter who told you to be where, and when, you need to leave. Call the agency and tell them there’s been a fuck up, but like I said, I’ll pay you for the day.”

  “I was booked for a month. I...”

  “Okay, I’ll pay you for the month.”

  “I’m sorry, what? That wasn’t my point. I want to work.”

  “And you can. Just not here. Take the month’s pay, and you can use the time to look for something else. Have Arianne call me.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes, really. It’s only fair. That and I just want to get you off my threshold right now. So, if there’s nothing else…?” She opened her mouth, and I was fairly certain that as far as she was concerned, there was plenty else. However, I was totally done so I closed the door. Not before I saw the look of shock on her face. Absolutely priceless.

  I backed away from the door laughing to myself.

  “What’s so funny, babe?”

  The voice seemed to come from nowhere, and it took me a few moments before I remembered that I wasn’t alone, and I’d been mid-fuck when the door had been knocked with Mary Poppins on the other side.

  “Nothing. And hey, I don’t mean to be rude, but I’ve got to get on. I have a busy day ahead. Empires to build and all that.”

  “Oh sure, no, of course, don’t let me keep you.” After my earlier instruction it appeared that she’d spruced herself up a little after I pushed her off my dick. She’d pulled down her skirt and fixed her hair. Brushed it, even. And I wasn’t the most observant when it came to this kind of thing, but she had definitely reapplied her lipstick—that much I was sure of.

  “That was fun, maybe we could have a repeat performance sometime soon?”

  I gave her a wan smile. “Sure. Sounds good.” And by good, I meant I’d rather eat ball sweat on a graham cracker. I opened the door. “You can find your own way out, right? James will call you a taxi, or Uber, or whatever. On me.”

  She looked confused and somewhat hesitant, but I ignored that fact and stared out into the empty space outside my office, hoping she’d take the hint. She did, and scooted out of the room seconds later, stopping to give me a brief peck on the cheek. Ugh. Just let it be over, already.

  I headed back to my desk and called James’ number, to tell him to send the other guys in for Confession—if he wasn’t at his desk, he had his phone on him at all times, even when he peed. It rang about ten times, and I was just about to epically lose my shit when I remembered that there was no James. That’s what the fiasco with the temp had been abou
t, of course. Jesus. I needed to get my head straight. The whole thing had only happened moments earlier, and already I’d more or less forgotten.

  James had resigned two months previously, and the idea had been to find his replacement and have him trained and ready to take over before James finished up.

  Unfortunately, the pool of male PAs was pitifully small. Even smaller when I factored in the reality that most of them were of less use than a chocolate condom. I didn’t know how many unsuitable Simons and Jacks we’d been through in those two weeks, but it was enough for James and me to worry that I’d never find anyone to replace him.

  In the end, his last day had come and we’d found nobody. A male temp was supposed to have been a stopgap until I could find a permanent person, yet somehow that had devolved into some kind of shitshow.

  Not that I believed in omens, but if I did, starting the week that way surely wasn’t a good one.

  Chapter 2

  Noa

  * * *

  As the door closed in my face, I stood staring at it in stunned silence for an extended moment.

  I guessed the silent part wasn’t too outlandish—I was alone, so there was probably not too much to be said without seeming like a crazy cat lady, but maybe if I’d been more on form, and less shocked out of my brain at what had just happened, I would have at least been able to utter an “are you for fucking real,” even if only to myself. As it was, I had nothing.

  It was 8 a.m—a mere few minutes into what was supposed to have been a month-long temping assignment, and I’d fallen at the first hurdle. I’d failed to even get into the office before I’d been fired on the spot. And to think that I’d spent the whole weekend worrying and fretting that I’d do or say something that would get me fired a few hours or days into the job. I hadn’t anticipated being rejected before I’d even had the chance to get my ass on the seat.

  The fact was, I wasn’t a PA, and never really had been. I had done plenty of temping when I was younger and putting myself through art school, though, and had picked up enough knowledge that I figured I could do what I had done then, and fake it until I made it.

  * * *

  In any case, I’d been willing to give it a go and hope for the best. Not only did I need money, but I needed to get back into the world of work. In fact, into the world in general. It was time. I felt like the reverse of a butterfly—like I’d gone into my cocoon all vibrant, light and optimistic, and I’d come out a caterpillar. Not even one of the cool or interesting ones, like the bumblebee striped or the fluorescent green ones. I was a regular ugly, boring, drab, brown caterpillar, re-emerging into a bright and colorful world.

  And to make matters worse, not only had I not soared like a beautiful fluttery butterfly, but I’d failed to launch altogether. I’d had the door slammed in my face before I could even be exposed as the PA fraud that I was. I literally didn’t even get to start. That had to be some kind of record.

  I took a few more moments and some deep breaths in order to recalibrate, then I pulled my shoulders back, tipped my chin forward, and held my head high. I had nothing to be ashamed of—I wished I could say the same for the guy who’d so rudely dismissed me, after he’d opened his office door looking like I’d woken him up, and smelling, unless I was mistaken, of stale booze.

  I took the elevator down to the reception area, and was about to leave the building when I had a change of heart. I went across to the coffee shop on the other side of the lobby, ordered myself a triple shot, and took a seat before pulling my phone out to call Carla at the agency.

  “Personnel Matters, this is Veronica speaking, how may I help you?”

  “Oh, hello, Veronica, it’s Noa Hale here. I have been dispatched on a job, and there’s a problem. May I speak with Carla, please?

  “Of course. Putting you through now.”

  I explained the situation as quickly and unemotionally as I could, but when I got to the end of the story, I was met by nothing but dead air.

  “Hello? Hello? Are you still there?”

  “Hi. Oh yeah, I’m still here. I’m... working out what I just heard.”

  “Hahaha! I know the feeling. I’m kind of still figuring out what I just experienced, and believe me, even though I was there, I don’t think I have any more idea than you do.”

  “I hear you, and I’m sorry you had to go through that.” There was vigorous tapping at her end. “And he offered to pay you for a month to go away? Did I hear that part right?”

  “You did.” I could see why she was disbelieving. The whole thing was bizarre as fuck. What kind of money did someone have to play with if they saw nothing wrong in paying a total random not to do any work?

  Not that I was to be paid much more than a pittance, but that wasn’t the point. He hadn’t even blinked when I’d mentioned the whole month thing, and had straight away jumped to the conclusion that I was angling for compensation.

  The truth was, as much as I needed money, and boy did I really need it, I also really needed to work—to have a reason to get dressed and leave the house every morning, to feel useful, and needed, and have a purpose. I knew from bitter experience that they were feelings that money couldn’t buy.

  “Okay, got it. Sorry, give me one moment, I’m just looking again through Arianne’s notes here. Can I put you on hold?”

  “Sure, of course.” I looked around the cafe furtively. Stupidly, I still kind of had the funny feeling that I was being Punk’d or something, and at any moment someone was going to jump out from behind a potted plant, reveal the hidden cameras, and let me know that the whole thing was a setup.

  It was a dumb thought. I didn’t know anyone who’d set me up that way, and in fact, apart from the agency and Raine Davies, nobody knew where I was, so couldn’t set me up. Still, that seemed more acceptable than the fact that I’d just been treated the way I had for any other reason.

  The hold music stopped, and Carla came back on the line. “Hi. Are you still there?”

  “Yes I am.”

  “Okay, great. Where are you now?”

  “Umm...I’m just at the coffee shop right under the building. I’m sorry, I didn’t really know what to do, so I thought I’d take a minute to get my head together, and get caffeinated, then call you.”

  “Absolutely. Great idea. I found some notes, but I need to speak with Arianne before I do anything. Can you do me a favor and just sit tight a while, please? Don’t go anywhere. If you haven’t already, order yourself something to eat, and another coffee, or whatever you want to drink. Enjoy it on us.”

  “Oh, okay. Thank you.”

  “Not at all. It’s the least we can do. Sit tight.”

  “Okay. Thanks again.” I’d already browsed the menu, while on hold, and had decided what I was going to have for breakfast, while I waited. I’d been eyeing off the mega-pancake stack, with all the extras. It was probably about ten thousand calories, and cost almost as many dollars, but I figured I’d earned the stress binge, and someone else was paying, so it was an even sweeter deal.

  I was about halfway through the stack—at the stage where I knew that I should stop before I felt too full, or too sick, but knew I probably wouldn’t—when the phone rang again. It was Carla.

  I took a huge gulp of water to wash away the packed mouthful of food I was munching on, wiped my face on a napkin, and picked up, with the distinct feeling that I had blueberry skin firmly wedged between my teeth.

  “Hi, this is Noa.”

  “Hi, Noa, it’s Carla. Okay, so I spoke to Arianne, and it seems there has been some kind of miscommunication all around. Being her client, not mine, Arianne was aware of Mr. Davies’s... uh... requirements, and did leave me notes to that effect. Unfortunately, I do seem to have missed that specific point in the handover process, rushed as it was.”

  Arianne had been scheduled to go on maternity leave a few weeks later, but in the event had to be admitted earlier for an emergency c-section. I didn’t know the specifics, apart from the fact that she’d safely
delivered her daughter the previous week.

  “At the same time, when I sent across your resumé, they saw your name and assumed you were a guy.”

  “Yeah, Mr. Davies did mention that part.”

  “Hmm... So, anyway, now the we’ve ironed out those miscommunications, we’ve also confirmed that we don’t currently have anyone on our books who fits the bill. At least nobody Mr. Davies hasn’t met already.” Reading between the lines, he’d chewed his way through what I was guessing was a scant pool of available males to fill the role.

  The whole thing was so bizarre, I was still struggling to get my head around it. My immediate thought was that Raine Davies was gay. It would make some kind of sense of why he wanted males only. Not fair, or right, but no more unreasonable than the hundreds of thousands of straight men who hired women on the basis of their looks every day.

  Then I remembered what he’d said about good-looking women. It would be logical to assume therefore that it wasn’t because he wanted male eye candy, or else why would he care what the women he rejected looked like? But if he wasn’t gay, why the hell did he only want to work with men? Bizarre times one thousand.

  “That we’re at a little bit of an impasse here.” I got the impression that, my mind having wandered a little, I’d missed something that Carla had said, but I didn’t want to admit that fact, so I made sure to listen carefully as she continued. “Mr. Davies and the rest of the BR&ND team are very important clients to us, and we need to do our best to keep them happy. That being the case, despite the not-very-promising start, Arianne and I were wondering if you would be prepared to...” I let the words hang in the air. “...fill in for him this week? Just while we see if we can gather a new candidate pool for him to interview.”

  I couldn’t speak. The whole scenario was so increasingly outlandish that it made absolutely no sense. After being bluntly told that I in no way fit the bill, and having the door literally slammed in my face, they were now offering me the role, albeit temporarily.